Mark Sanford, Please Just STFU Already!!

Okay, I fully admit it (as I did in previous articles), I was really okay with South Carolina Governor, and possible GOP presidential candidate, Mark Sanford and his tête-à-tête (which is, coincidentally, French for head to head—wait for it, wait for it) with the femme fatale from Argentina, Maria Belen Chapur. I have no problem when people fall in love, or even when they fall out of love—these things happen, even to people who are married. But for crissakes Sanford, but a sock in it already!!So you fell in love and she was your soulmate—we GET IT!!  But, now you say you are going to try and fall back in love with your wife for the good of your boys—right! Mark, may I call you Mark, you know when you will fall back in love with your wife?  About the time you realize, for REAL, that you really want to stay a politician, and it dawns on you that the only way out of your current mess is to create a pseudo love story, complete with a happy ending, with your estranged wife, Jenny. I’m sure the humiliation that you continually heave on her is really making the idea of reconciliation with you soooo appealing. 

Moreover, Governor, I take issue with your misuse of the word soulmate. If you really felt that way about your lover, you would not be doing the things you are doing—declaring it one day, and then in the next breath saying you want to try and fall back in love with your wife.

You know some of us actually DO have a soulmate, Governor. That one person that makes everything in the world just perfect—even when it’s not. The person who we can laugh with, occasionally cry with, share secrets, dreams, and anything else two people can come up with. That one person in the world that is the piece of the puzzle that was missing from our life, and we didn’t even know it was missing. A soulmate is that one person who appreciates who and what we are, in spite of our many flaws. A soulmate embodies the word, free. A soulmate is NOT the love of our life one day, and a tryst the next. So please, douche bag, stop using such a lovely word to describe what is basically a midlife crisis for you. 

Governor Sanford, if you really want to work it out with Jenny for the sake of the boys, then STFU! Stop telling the media that you are still in love with Ms. Chapur—that she is your soulmate. Do you think your kids don’t see and hear that shit on the television and/or radio? I mean really, what are you 16? Do everyone, including your wife and kids, a favor—resign, divorce, and move to Argentina. No one would begrudge you happiness; in fact, we would all just love for you to be happy—in Argentina!!

And Jenny, welcome to the Club:

Tags: How to totally f**k up a political career, Soulmates